THINGS TO DISTRACT YOURSELF WHILE HEALING

Most of us don’t end up with the happily ever after we see in the movies where the first love is the only person we end up with. Mostly because we haven’t really pieced together what love really is and overtime we are stuck trying to figure it out. When you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it hurts!! I mean that part is obvious but scientifically, emotional pain is suppose to be more painful in comparison to physical pain. You’ll spend months or days still feeling the effects of a heart break maybe even years but the pain you get when you punched in the face goes away with time. Sometimes, I wish I knew this so I hadn’t looked so desperate crying over a closed chapter. Over the months, I spent trying to distract myself from crying or remembering ... these things helped me heal.

1. IT’S NOT ABOUT FORGETTING IT’S ABOUT OVERCOMING

When you hit a wall, you can’t stand there and pretend it never existed. You could spend time trying to build a ladder to get over it ... I mean generally that seems like the most logical way to get past the wall considering you won’t have to look at it again but then most people try so hard to forget it. The best thing to do is to build yourself up. Discover the person you could have been if you were living on your own without a significant other. The early phase of withdrawal is about overcoming dependency therefore if you can convince yourself that you don’t really need reassurance from people to live then perhaps you can please yourself. This in my opinion is the most reliable way to live. Start focusing on bring yourself up by treating yourself to a spa day or hair appointment to focus on the little things or make new friends and start rekindling friendships. You don’t want to feel trapped under something that you can’t get back. Your friends may not be able to feel what you are feeling but they can try. That’s all I ever wanted from people. Perhaps if I asked things would have turned out differently, maybe I would have healed faster. Perhaps you feel like you might be judged for the way you feel because “holding on shouldn’t last this long” but I would rather you think about the relationship you’ll develop with anxiety if you don’t ask. Sometimes there might be that one person who will grab your hand and whisper that it’ll be okay ... even when it feels like you can’t heal from the weight pulling your hurt down your chest and into your stomach. 

IF YOU’RE READING THIS AND YOU’RE HURT ... IT’LL BE OKAY ...

.................................................................................................................................................................

I’m no relationship expert, but I’m an empathetic woman who felt more than she should have. The pain I felt is not something I would wish upon other people and I know that many people get effected mentally by post-breakups. I hope this helps someone out there recover and understand that there is hope but just like things that bloom, they need time.