Does she really love me?
Initially, The post that was supposed to be released was supposed to give tips on how to distract yourself post- break up to help build a better state of mind for oneself however the recent posts have grabbed a lot of attention. I received a question from someone on my instagram that I believe deserves to be answered
“I just broke up with my girlfriend, a few weeks ago and then she immediately started dating someone else ... Did she really love me?” - anonymous
The reason why this question matters a lot to me is because one of my exes did the same to me!!
Firstly, you need to consider that at the end of the relationship, the pain that you feel emotionally is almost equivalent to physical pain. At this point, it feels like there’s a million things you want to say to that person. You want to be the one who benefits from the break up and pride tends to build. It’s like your heart stops listening to your brain and goes on auto-pilot. When your heart goes insane you tend to speak out of turn and say things you wish you hadn’t said because the secret for getting over most breakups is ...
SILENCE ...
Most people can admit that maybe if they hadn’t said anything post-break up then they would felt like the bigger person or maybe the girl wouldn’t hate him so much consider he told her that no guy would want to be with a girl who doesn’t said nudes. Anger is an uncontrollable emotion that acts faster than reason.
Therefore on one hand I believe that she was acting on her emotions considering this is what most guys do anyways. Most men believe that they can replace their exes using other women and so they get into this PARTY MODE/PARTY FREAK ZONE where you party like crazy, thinking you can get a girl at a club and just do MADNESS!!! (I’M NOT ENCOURAGING THIS, JUST SPEAKING FACTS). Whether you’ll take this as good news or bad news ... if this is the case, she made a step she wished she hadn’t made. As we speak she’s trying to compare the time you guys had with the memories she is trying so hard to make with this new person. Instead of healing, she’s constantly trying to forget and replace the memories with something better or at least something like what you guys used to have. At this point, the guy is currently a crutch and she’s just trying to use him to heal. This will just come with pain and healing will take longer than it should. Even on their 2 month anniversary, she will still have memories at the back of her head of what you guys used to be. This is because she never healed and the pain will eventually catch up to her. If this is the case then YES! She did love you ... This is especially the case if she never had an affair with the guy she’s currently seeing. She’s just trying to heal and is convinced that moving on with a new person is the way to go.
Most of us tend to believe that there is this concept of finding “The one”. I don’t want to crush a lot of teen dreams but this concept simply doesn’t exist and the fact that many people rush to find this person end up settling too early or settling for the first person who catches their attention. She should have taken the time to understand what she wanted and how she could have made the next relationship better for herself. This just shows that she was addicted to the concept of “Us” instead of “Herself”. Good news! You’re one step ahead. You might as well take this time to heal and understand what you did wrong. Don’t look at these factors as failures but things you can improve for the next person who comes to your life. Trust me!!49.56% of the world population is female according to a random post on Quora. It takes one girl and one moment to make things happen and you have 3.5 billion tries
On the other hand, one could argue that the time it took for her to move on suggests that she never held strong feelings for you or she hasn’t discovered her true love yet. Don’t let tjhis get you down in fact you should thank God for easing the weight and pain off your shoulders because if she could move on so fast and give up on what you guys had then she wasn’t worth a long term relationship, marriage or any “I love you” that you were ever thinking of telling her. Someone like her is worth the “No contact rule”. If you had the strength to ask if she really loves you, then it means that you’re still thinking of what could have been. This means you still have hope and that’s where you need to understand. At this point ...
THERE IS NO HOPE...
And you best thank God for that, because you need someone who will be with you through thick and thin, not someone whose willing to replace you if things go wrong especially at that rate. Besides, some people are just not compatible so whether or not she finds someone now or later. You will move on knowing that you’re irreplaceable and that’s something she’ll come to terms with soon enough.
...................................................................................................................................................................
I hope this post answers your question and helps you understand that you deserve a better ending. Leave a question on my instagram every Friday and they’ll be answered on my blog soon enough.
Instagram: _Lakisha_._
“I just broke up with my girlfriend, a few weeks ago and then she immediately started dating someone else ... Did she really love me?” - anonymous
The reason why this question matters a lot to me is because one of my exes did the same to me!!
Firstly, you need to consider that at the end of the relationship, the pain that you feel emotionally is almost equivalent to physical pain. At this point, it feels like there’s a million things you want to say to that person. You want to be the one who benefits from the break up and pride tends to build. It’s like your heart stops listening to your brain and goes on auto-pilot. When your heart goes insane you tend to speak out of turn and say things you wish you hadn’t said because the secret for getting over most breakups is ...
SILENCE ...
Most people can admit that maybe if they hadn’t said anything post-break up then they would felt like the bigger person or maybe the girl wouldn’t hate him so much consider he told her that no guy would want to be with a girl who doesn’t said nudes. Anger is an uncontrollable emotion that acts faster than reason.
Therefore on one hand I believe that she was acting on her emotions considering this is what most guys do anyways. Most men believe that they can replace their exes using other women and so they get into this PARTY MODE/PARTY FREAK ZONE where you party like crazy, thinking you can get a girl at a club and just do MADNESS!!! (I’M NOT ENCOURAGING THIS, JUST SPEAKING FACTS). Whether you’ll take this as good news or bad news ... if this is the case, she made a step she wished she hadn’t made. As we speak she’s trying to compare the time you guys had with the memories she is trying so hard to make with this new person. Instead of healing, she’s constantly trying to forget and replace the memories with something better or at least something like what you guys used to have. At this point, the guy is currently a crutch and she’s just trying to use him to heal. This will just come with pain and healing will take longer than it should. Even on their 2 month anniversary, she will still have memories at the back of her head of what you guys used to be. This is because she never healed and the pain will eventually catch up to her. If this is the case then YES! She did love you ... This is especially the case if she never had an affair with the guy she’s currently seeing. She’s just trying to heal and is convinced that moving on with a new person is the way to go.
Most of us tend to believe that there is this concept of finding “The one”. I don’t want to crush a lot of teen dreams but this concept simply doesn’t exist and the fact that many people rush to find this person end up settling too early or settling for the first person who catches their attention. She should have taken the time to understand what she wanted and how she could have made the next relationship better for herself. This just shows that she was addicted to the concept of “Us” instead of “Herself”. Good news! You’re one step ahead. You might as well take this time to heal and understand what you did wrong. Don’t look at these factors as failures but things you can improve for the next person who comes to your life. Trust me!!49.56% of the world population is female according to a random post on Quora. It takes one girl and one moment to make things happen and you have 3.5 billion tries
On the other hand, one could argue that the time it took for her to move on suggests that she never held strong feelings for you or she hasn’t discovered her true love yet. Don’t let tjhis get you down in fact you should thank God for easing the weight and pain off your shoulders because if she could move on so fast and give up on what you guys had then she wasn’t worth a long term relationship, marriage or any “I love you” that you were ever thinking of telling her. Someone like her is worth the “No contact rule”. If you had the strength to ask if she really loves you, then it means that you’re still thinking of what could have been. This means you still have hope and that’s where you need to understand. At this point ...
THERE IS NO HOPE...
And you best thank God for that, because you need someone who will be with you through thick and thin, not someone whose willing to replace you if things go wrong especially at that rate. Besides, some people are just not compatible so whether or not she finds someone now or later. You will move on knowing that you’re irreplaceable and that’s something she’ll come to terms with soon enough.
...................................................................................................................................................................
I hope this post answers your question and helps you understand that you deserve a better ending. Leave a question on my instagram every Friday and they’ll be answered on my blog soon enough.
Instagram: _Lakisha_._
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